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Pulled the Trigger

If this blog was my first real, concrete step of my dream, then I’ll tell you the first real, concrete step of the realization of my dream.

I’ve done it. I quit my job.

Ever since I traveled abroad to Singapore and Malaysia, November 2013, something inside me was sparked. I know I love traveling, ever since I was young younger. I always think of those wonderful world. Sadly, back then, I felt like my possibility was limited.

First, I was an afraid young boy. The world is just so big it was overwhelming. I didn’t have any experience. Those stories the medias filled me with was so scary. “The world is dangerous”, I thought. What you think is what you fill your brain with, I guess. Now, I don’t see the world as a scary place anymore. Sure, it’s still overwhelming, it’s so vast, it’s so rich. But, those are the things that make the world worth exploring. I think of them as the beauty of the world now. You know, when you are in love, everything never looks bad, because you see things through rose-tinted glasses. And I think I’m in love with the world.

Second, I didn’t have the resources. How could I, the son of a modest family, do it. Thinking about resources back then was really unthinkable. I always thought that traveling was just for the rich. I felt like traveling was a luxury. However, I work at a wonderful place these past 2.5 years. I saved money furiously, like a madman. Bootstrapping my venture to the world was my first and foremost objective. And now, I feel like I’m ready. I’m grateful to my former employeer, because without them, it would be 180 degree different.

Third, I was clueless (I still am, as a friend of mine always pointed. Different kind of cluelessness though). I didn’t know what I wanted with my life back then. It was a soul searching phase, if you will. But people grow, and I grow too. What I read, what I follow, what I close with, were influental for shaping my mindset.

So, after I overcomed those three limitations, I felt like that spark my first abroad travel brought me, became a burning fire. I set an objective shortly after that event, I must go in several years, no matter what. Between these 2 years, there were some close “pull the trigger” events. Everytime, I thought long and hard about it. And everytime, I decided that it wasn’t the right time. Those events were depressing. I felt like I was a coward for not just freaking doing it.

What I learned was that I don’t really need to think long and hard about things I want to do. Thinking long and hard will only make my mind wanders into an overthinking region. Overthinking always bring me insecurity, negative thoughts, and fear. And in the end, I will decide not to do that, and it will make me feel really bad. Hence, I learned to just give it some little thought, then do it.

I didn’t say that this decision to quit my daily job was an easy one. In fact, it was one of the hardest because that was where my life path branched. It was a large crossroad. The temptation of the other branch was so high, but in the end I chose the same branch I will chose two years ago: the branch that will take me to the world.

The Plan

So, for my plan going forward. It’s simple, really.

Mid January, I will go to Malaysia. Then I have no plan, I’ll just go wherever I want to.

One thing for sure is that I want to make the most of my time traveling. I will travel slow, try to soak up the culture and history of the place I’m in. As a general rule of thumb, I will stay in a country as long as my visa allows.

While traveling, I will do freelance jobs. It will not be a vacation. This will be a journey. What’s the difference between me and another person who chose stability? The difference is only this: the lifestlye. Stable person will do works to fund his/her stability. I will do works to fund my travel. So, no, travel is not a luxury for me. It’s an another way to live the life. It’s an option beside stability.

Visa free countries will of course become my first traget, less hassle and easier to get into. Good places to build up experiences and to get things started. Thankfully, SEA countries are visa free for me, Indonesian citizen. Hence, those are my first destinations.

Some acquaintances asked this question, “When will you end your travel and come back?”. For that, I have no answer. I want to travel indefinitely. Maybe if I’ve burned out on traveling, I will stay somewhere for sometimes and settle down a bit. But as for to settle down permanently, I cannot say.

Ultimately, this is like a new chapter in my book of life. Just like the way I like to read, I will open it, devour it word by word, stop by and lookup the word I don’t know, and go on forward, but never come back to the previous words nor open the next page before I finish the current page.