“Are you alone?”, that’s the question I’m always asked whenever I was doing things solo. And I always reply that question with short “Yes” and some smile.
If I were asked that question when I was in my adolescence age, I would quickly tried to deny it, and found a million of society-acceptable answers. “Oh no, I just wandering away from my group”, “I-I… got separated…”, “I just came back from bathroom trip”, etc.
That’s basically the highlight of my middle and high school era. Now I find that the younger me was so silly.
I also find that particular question is so amusing. It’s highlighting the problem with our society, esp. Indonesian. A loner is considered lower than sociable person. They always think that introverts have dire problems. Parents think their introvert child has mental disease.
I perfectly understand. If I look at introverts from society’s point of view, I would be very very insecure. I would immediately thank Odin/Zeus/Jade Emperor that I’m not alone, and I have a lot of “friends”. I’ll do that because society is the greatest driving factor of personality. It plants insecurities in our mind.
If I could give some advice to my younger self, these are the advices :
It’s all in your mind. No one will give second look at you. You’re just insecure. Society could be toxic. It could pressure us to be what it want us to be. Learn to say no. Don’t be people pleaser. Do a lot things that society thinks it’s silly and stupid. You’ll find a lot of amazing things by doing that. Be a rebel, but with a cause. It’s perfectly OK to be different. Be proud of it. Now, I know it’s very very hard for teenager to take those advices. My younger self would readily brush it off. But I would say, just keep them in your mind. It’s like a mental shield. Something to block or at least filter society’s attacks.
I wouldn’t blame my younger self if he couldn’t do it. After all, this is really abstract and hard. Even my present self still struggling. But at least, with maturing mind of adult, our opinions, thoughts, preferences would be more refined.
Do you know why old people just don’t care? Like, they just do what the fuck they want, and their sole purpose is to annoy and embarrass us, younger people?
Because they have no insecurity. Because their mind is free. Only insecure people would think that embarrassing.
It’s also the proof that what we think now, our insecurities now, are baseless. They’re just the children of society brain washer. Insecurities would only hamper our progress, and make us dysfunctional.
So, for my present self + 1 and my older self, I will say this to you:
Do what the fuck you think is right, as long you're not hurting anybody or anything